i have found a curious thing. there was no purpose in trying to be understood. for everyone’s world is so deeply painted by their personal histories. the lives they have lived, the moments creating the next. the situations they have encountered and who they were at those points in time. even if they experienced the same situation but at a separate stage of life it would be processed differently! how intricate.
i cannot piece it fully together. but i do understand that to strive for an understanding from another is an empty task. rather the more important aim is to understand self. for the more you understand self the deeper you will connect to the world around you.
such a bizarre paradox. but i think it must be so. for how could you connect to the world if you have not even met yourself.
the more within yourself you are the less from outside you need. the more you know self the less you need another to affirm it. there seems to be no need for validation when you are in understanding of your own nature. of the nature of the world. and rather in acceptance of existence itself.
when you try to deny what is, you deny yourself. you deny yourself the delight of what is unfolding before you.
and then there may come a point in this self understanding that all outside noise dissipates. all need for external affirmation washes away with the strive for explanation. you are safe with yourself. how could you ever need more.
to know myself has been the greatest gift i have ever given me.
-m