i wither away without meaning. i am empty with no purpose. no pain is greater than looking back at the life i lived unfulfilled. the potential i left untapped. there is more in me. there is more of me to meet. i have yet to let myself surface.
i pretend to be me.
i am not me.
when will i stop pretending? i know there are parts of me that i hide. parts i keep away from life. i pretend to have them integrated but they are not. they stay hidden. for what will happen if i am as i say i am?
that warrants complete vulnerability to the sour world we live in. those parts feel safer in my heart.
so maybe i will pretend.
and just maybe one day i will muster up the courage to let myself out of the cage.
to stop living in a make believe world.
to stop supressing the things that fuel the core of my being.
for now i fuel myself in private. away from the harshness.
for i cannot bear the idea of my heart lying so bear for the taking.
it is not yours to take.