day 3
the unknown has become remarkably exciting. I’m losing the tight grip of control. losing the need to know the details of the path forward. i discovered life knows better. it always has. the stoics approach that best because no matter what happens then face it daringly. life will always be right. and just now i am learning to dance with it. to take what comes. accept it all openly. allow life to live through me.
there is no joy in control. there is no joy in curating miracles. for that is impossible. it is not a miracle for as long as your hand is in the matter. this summer is meant to tie my hands behind my back. say yes more. and stop trying so hard to mold the world around me.
it was never outside of me. never. molding the external has brought great pain. the need to fix everything caused great anxiety. a state of despair i do not want to live in.
so i wont.
and i want to see the fruits of releasing grips. giving my life to God. for the force of nature will always be stronger than my own to hands.
today i have learnt to embrace all that is.